Let's get ready to stumblllllllllle!!! Jon is set to step into the ring for a match with JJWF champ Bulk Logan--who may be getting on in years, but is still plenty full of tricks. Still, with five grand up for grabs, our teen titan agrees to wrestle in earnest anyway. But will he take home the belt, or will he hit more canvas than Jackson Pollack's paints?
____________________________________________________
Issue #: 407
Issue #: 43
Release Date: Oct 31, 2008
____________________________________________________
Title: "Squared Circle Jerks"
Story (out of 48 pages): 24 p.
Writer: Mencken H. Watts
Penciller: Ethan W. "Meat" Jackson
Letterer: Jose A. Wheat
Colorist: Theo A. "Jet" Swann
Summary:
During a televised match of the Jigaboo Junction Wrestling Federation (JJWF), champ Bulk Logan announces that he's offering $5000 to anyone who can remain in the ring with him for three rounds.
Josh immediately siezes on the idea and suggests to Jon he ought to sign up.
Bulk may be a tough customer, but Jon's powers, Josh reasons, would give him an edge in the ring.
Although at first reluctant, Jon--with a bit of wheedling from Angela and the boys--is finally talked into it.
When Jon goes to put his name in for the contest, he has to sign many liability forms before he'll be allowed to fight.
This is because Logan is known to be a fierce contender, often injuring his oponents.
Once he's registered, Jon trains for weeks (in a homage montage to the Rocky film series) for his bout. Donning a brightly-colored costume, Jon's team decides he should wrestle under the name " "--with his faithful canine companion, Buddy, aka "B.O. Wolf".
The match, however, is in actuality a scheme to quash rumors that Logan is an old has-been who has been paying his opponents to take dives for years (though he insists "[The other wrestlers] all do it!")
By beating a wet-behind-the-ears rookie, Logan explains to fellow wrestler Jambalaya Jake, he hopes to prove he's not a broken-down wreck ready for the knacker's yard.
When it becomes clear that Jon is no pushover, Jake and Logan hatch a plot to get rid of Jon so the champ can save a smalll measure of face....
Notes:
"JJWF" is a parody of the (onetime) World Wrestling Federation, which changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (WWE) in 2002, following a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund.
Bulk Logan is a parody of perhaps its flagship fighter, Terry "Hulk" Hogan--a colorful character whose career has been dogged for the last decade or so with a string of movies that range from lukewarm to box-office flops and talk that he is past his prime. Hogan's ring persona has ranged from all-American boy to "Hollywood" heel (the latter of which is showcased here). Logan's voice and personality, though, is more at Hogan's frenemy "Macho Man" Randy Savage, particularly the frequent interjections of "Oh, yeah!"
Jambalaya Jake is an amalagam of Hacksaw Jim Duggan (look) and Jake the Snake Roberts (gimmick). The name comes from a minor villain from the Darkwing Duck series (appearing in "Can't Bayou Love" and "Double Darkwings"). "Lean Dean Jokerlund" is a parody of Mean Gene Okerlund, longtime WWF ringside announcer and pre-fight interviewer.
page 1. The "Manic Mime Brigade" is a spoof of The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J), a flamboyant pair of hip-hop performers who enjoyed a brief WWF career in 1998.
Angela calls Josh and Jon "Piltdown Men" on page 3, a reference to the famous 1912 hoax in which bone fragments found in a field in Sussex, near the hamlet of Piltdown, were claimed to be ancient human remains. In 1953 they were found to be a simply a human skull and an orangutan jawbone with its teeth filed. Charles Dawson, an amateur historian and archaeologist, was at various times assumed to be the sole originator of the Piltdown fraud, one of several partners in a conspiracy, or an innocent dupe, the culprit being someone else. However, over three dozen of his other lesser-known "discoveries" were posthumously revealed to be outrageous fakes or exaggerations as well.
In keeping with the mystery of "Where is Jigaboo Junction?", the state flag (page 5) looks like a cross between that of Arkansas and Missouri.
Several scenes play largely on the Rocky films:
Josh's scatological dialogue on page 6 is a parody of/cross between trainer Mickey Goldman (Burgess Meredith)'s inspirational speeches ("I want you to eat lightning and shit thunder!") and Johnnie Red (Paul Winfield)'s line in the 1987 film Big Shots: "I can walk on water, eat bullets, and shit ice cream!"
Jon runs up the steps of the city library, similar to the famous and oft-parodied "Rocky steps" montage.
Jon spars with a hanging side of beef. The gag seen here was actually lifted from a scene in The Simpsons' "Krusty Gets Kancelled", which in turn parodied the one from the Rocky pictures: As Krusty The Clown pracices jabs with a hanging side of beef, Homer takes bites off it.
Jon must drink six raw eggs in a glass.
The Flasher is one of Jon's opponents in the prequalifying rounds (page 10).
Jon complains his wrestling costume (page 11) makes him look like "a gay Burt Ward". Ward played Robin the Boy Wonder in Batman (1966), and the outfit Jon is wearing looks strikingly similar to the Robin costume, except for minor coloring differences.
"Minister Cheesy's" spoofs both the popular kid-themed pizza chain Chuck E. Cheese's and the sardonic E.A. Robinson poem "Miniver Cheevy".
page 16. Buddy's monicker "B.O. Wolf"--itself a parody of Beowulf--comes from the Beetlejuice episode "King B.J.", and referred to a large, foul-smelling evil hound that Beetlejuice had to face.
Title: "Gort's Guide to Running for Office"
Story (out of 48 pages): 3 p.
Speechwriter: Jean-Kate Costman
Artful Dodger: Scott J. Hanna
Candidate of Letters:Jose A. Wheat
Color Commentator: Jack Staten Monahew
Summary:
A short cartoon follows Gort's screwball run for the office of President of the United States.
Notes: page 12. "Fat Elmer" refers to a brief period in the early forties in which Warner Bros. animators began drawing Elmer Fudd much heavier than in previous cartoons. Radio actor Arthur Q. Bryant, who voiced Fudd, was used as a body model. After four pictures, Elmer returned to his more familiar svelte physique.
page 12. Gort's full name, "Ch'rell Ahmedinijad Gort", is revealed for the first time. Ch'rell was the real name of the Utrom Shredder in the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, and Mamuhd Ahmedinijad is the controversial President of Iran; both are horrible bloodthirsty tyrants. This refers to Sen. Barack Obama's sharing his middle name, Hussein, with one of history's most abominable and murderous despots, Saddam Hussein.
Gort's speech to the delegates combines and parodies memorable moments from a number of actual political speeches:
"I have three dollars in the bank"--a take on a line from a Saturday Night Live cold open from 1991, in which H. Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) kept repeating the phrase "I got $3 billion sitting in the bank".
"Yaaahh!"--a reference to DNC chairman and presidential candidate Howard Dean's decidedly bizarre performance at the Iowa caucus in January 2004. The former Vermont governor gave a loud, rambling speech punctuated by a loud scream. This moment of slobbering, red-faced lunacy likely cost Dean the election.
"I am not a crook"--a line frequently uttered by many a two-bit Nixon imitator, and often misquoted. The statement--taken from a line in a 1973 televised speech--was actually, "Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."
"M' caca--refers to George Allen's (R-Va) use of the word "macaca", a racial epithet for West Indians, in a whistlestop speech in August 2006. This gaffe is believed to have cost the governor both a Senate seat and his shot at the 2008 Presidential nomination. "Caca" is also the Spanish word for "feces".
page 12. Gort misunderstands a question about Roe v. Wade, the controversial 1973 Supreme court decision that in essence made abortion legal in the United States. Ironically, Norma Leah McCorvey, the "Roe" of the case, has now recanted her support of abortion and bitterly regrets her part in this political hot potato, describing herself as a "pawn" of unscrupulous lawyers.
page 13. "Make a run for the border" was a onetime slogan of the Mexican fast-food restaurant Taco Bell, which carries the sort of fare Gort mentions.
ANWR, or the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (here rendered as "ANWAR") is a 20,000,000-acre plot of oil-rich federally protected land in the Alaskan wilderness. The decision whether or not to drill here has been a political hot-potato for years, between the left's environmental concerns and the right's desire to stop paying terrorist countries to get its oil.
Gort refers to Bill Clinton's famous line about pot use, given in a 1992 interview: "When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two and didn't like it, and didn't inhale, and never tried inhaling again." (p. 13)
Ted Schenectady's appearance (who was last seen in
"Guidance System") is a reference to Ted Kennedy's (D-Mass) Jan 28 speech putting his support behind Barack Obama. This was the aging senator's first public appearance since a well-publicized hospitalization for a brain tumor and subsequent convalescence. Schenectady horribly mispronounces Gort's name, a reference to Kennedy's flub on the Senate floor a year or so before, in which he erroneously called Obama "Osama" and chuckled about it.
"BSNME" is a parody of MSNBC, a notoriously leftist news outlet.
"Jan Boulder" is a caricature/parody of right-wing author, columnist, and radio host Ann Coulter.
page 14. Gort quotes the chorus from "Ootchie Cootchie" by M.C. Brains. Brains (real name given as both James Davis and James de Shannon) was a rapper who enjoyed minor success in the early nineties. With a style similar to M.C. Hammer's, M.C. Brains hit the charts in 1992 with two albums and three singles. He quickly faded into obscurity by the following year.
Title: "The Crazy Cassowary Caper!"
Story (out of 48 pages): 21 p.
Writer: Jean-Kate Costman
Penciller: Chase Montana
Letterer: J. Antwon Shea
Colorist: Newton E. Haas
Summary:
Kathryn Tartakoff and Aren Loy are looking forward to the upcoming dance at Sonny Tufts Jr. High--or, at least, Aren is. Kitty doesn't have a date, but she's hoping the most popular boy in school will ask her to be his plus-one. However, as he doesn't even know she's alive, this may be tougher than expected.
Meantime, a withdrawn, bird-loving schoolchum named Cassandra Warren has grown tired of being constantly picked on by bullies. Cassie also plans to go to the dance that night--not to cut a rug, but to seek revenge on her tormentors--as The Cassowary, "the most fearsome flightless bird on the planet!" Will SweetTart have what it takes to pluck this fowl fowl...or will this bird flip her?
Notes:
This story contains a number of references to Stephen King's Carrie, both the novel and the film:
Both feature a much-abused and taunted schoolgirl who seeks graphic revenge on her classmates. In fact, "Cassie" is just one letter off from "Carrie".
The boy Aren takes to the dance is a caricature of John Travolta, who played Billy Nolan, the young man who dated Carrie's rival Christine Hargensen, and who procured the pails of pig's blood, in the film.
Both stories have the pivotal event happen at a school function.
The Cassowary is splashed with red punch at one point, parodying the scene where Carrie is doused in blood.
page 29. Aren assures Kit she isn't ugly as "Monster Wuornos". This refers to serial kiler Aileen Wuornos, the subject of the award-winning 2003 bioepic Monster. Wuornos, who was executed a year before the picture's release, was played onscreen by the gorgeous Charlize Theron. For her role, Theron gained 30 pounds, wore heavy makeup and false teeth to appear hardened and homely, and studied documentary films about Wuornos to capture the character just right.
page 31. Kit sardonically references the work of Gregor Mendel, a monk/scientist who studied the inheritance of certain traits in pea plants and thus formulated his famous theory of dominant vs. recessive genes.
Kelly "Elegant Kelly" DeWitt is a caricature of Alfonso Ribiero, perhaps most famous as Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. His nickname is also an homage to Daniel "Fancy Dan" Brito, a diminutive martial artist who serves as one of The Big Man's Enforcers from the Spider-Man comics.
The sketch Rick Penn does is taken from the webcomic
"In Shining Armor" by former ASU cartoonist Ken Prince. Penn is a caricature of Prince, who died of a massive stroke in 2006.
This
Site has been designed for 800x600 resolution and Macromedia
Flash Player 5.
________________________________________________________________________________
Let's get ready to stumblllllllllle!!! Jon is set to step into the ring for a match with JJWF champ Bulk Logan--who may be getting on in years, but is still plenty full of tricks. Still, with five grand up for grabs, our teen titan agrees to wrestle in earnest anyway. But will he take home the belt, or will he hit more canvas than Jackson Pollack's paints?
"JJWF" is a parody of the (onetime) World Wrestling Federation, which changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (WWE) in 2002, following a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund.
